Friday, July 24, 2009

This is the end...

My time in Berlin is coming to a close. I am drawing closer to the 50 week mark and my Wednesday morning flight is sooner and sooner. Bank account closed, couch sold, and appointment to un-register with the city made for Monday. School already seems like a life time ago and Lydia is long gone. My remaining friends are setting off for summer vacations or planning their own homeward treks. I've taken everything but my calendar and stick-on poppies off my walls. It is the end, this will even be my last blog post.

Or is it? Last week, my Uncle Michael called me for the last time on my Berlin phone. I repeated this sentiment to him. He thinks it is just the beginning. That I am changed in ways I cannot hope to understand right now and this is the beginning of my post-Berlin existence. I know I am changed. But as the changing has happened here, I'll only be able to appreciate that change when I return to my former comfort zone.

And as sad as I am to leave my life here, it feels right. I am ready to go home again. Back to sunshine and warm sun on your skin. Back to fog and orange trees. Back to family and friends. Back home. It may just have been two weeks short of a year, but it feels like I set out a lifetime ago.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Wrapping Up


My 50 weeks in Berlin is beginning to draw to a close, classes have come to an end, almost all my grades are in order, and friends are rapidly leaving. I have a powerful urge to take everything off my walls, clean out my closet, and pack my bags. But, I still have about two weeks and such preemptive measures could induce some sadness. So, I am holding off on the walls but beginning to think what I really need to bring back. The list seems to be much smaller than I had thought, I think I may even end up bringing back less than I initially had. This appeals to me, I wish I could just return with a carry on of books.

The wrapping up really began this week. I finished my last week of German university. With bells, I might add. I've gotten three of my grades back so far- good news there. But yesterday was my dear friend Lydia's last day in Berlin. Lydia that I have seen almost everyday for nine months (but for a brief break in Winter). Lydia that has become one of my best friends, and Lydia that I have shared Berlin with. With her departure, I can't help but be sad. So much of Berlin is marked by the experiences I have shared with her here and the places we have discovered together; I can imagine it without her friendship, but I don't want to. It;s fitting they call for rain this weekend.

So for now, it is back to oatmeal for me and I am left with the thought that in two weeks I'll be packing my bags and saying goodbye to Berlin, for at least a while.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Garam Masala Oatmeal?


This almost worked. Garam Masala oatmeal sounded like a winner, and it very nearly was. I have a large bag of garam masala- that magical all spice mixture of Indian cuisine- and am constantly looking for more avenues in which I can use my spice. As my mind's bend has been of late directed towards oatmeal, it is only natural that I would eventually combine the two. This morning was the moment of truth, I mixed the oats and water and then went to add the garam masala. Then, disaster struck. The garam masala got away from me, an avalanche spilled into the sauce pan and I could only spoon so much extra out of the precious oats. I knew there was too much garam masala in, but thought it could still be okay. I cooked to the normal consistency, hoping for deliciousness, but when the moment of truth arrived and I took a bite, it was too much. I couldn't eat it. I had to throw the bowl out and start again. At that point I was getting quite hungry and went for my favorite applesauce oatmeal combo. Maybe I'll give garam masala oatmeal another go tomorrow.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Savory Oatmeal Redux:Tomato Oatmeal


Before I was forced to return to the delicious combination of applesauce and oatmeal, I had a sudden epiphany. Oatmeal with Italian seasonings? Why couldn't it work? Let me lay the field with what my tomato oatmeal included. First I measured out the half cup oats and full cup water and cut them in my sauce pan. With the stove on medium heat, I mixed in a tablespoon tomato paste, a pinch of basil, a dash of garlic, and some salt. It took a bit longer to reach the proper, sticky, oatmeal consistency than normal- but the result? Fairly delicious. I even added a little bit of shredded goat cheese and it tasted even better.

I think it is fair to say that you can treat oatmeal like a blank slate, adding which ever flavor combinations you can think of. I'm not sure where I want to go next, maybe into an exciting world of Asian flavors? I have soy sauce, wasabi, sriracha, etc. Let's see what I can come up with. I invite all suggestions.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Chocolate Chili Oatmeal


This morning saw the trial of a Lydia recommended oatmeal combo- chocolate chili oatmeal. It was fairly delicious. Once more, I cooked up my normal portion of oats, while they were still on the stove and not entirely congealed- I mixed in maybe 1/2 Tablespoon of cocoa powder. Then two dashes of chili powder. In the bowl they went and my taste buds were in for an adventure! The cocoa powder was unsweetened, and it really could have used some sugar and I probably could have put in more chili powder, but it was pretty nice the way it turned out.

The general combination of chocolate and chili has become popular over the last few years, it is quite a traditional Aztec way to enjoy chocolate. I believe Lydia came to the taste sensation through my mutual love of things spicy and chocolate. A nice addition could even be to add some sriracha. What is sriracha not good on?

Unless inspiration or advice strikes, it looks like tomorrow will be back to applesauce oatmeal- so people, give me some suggestions!

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Applesauce Oatmeal

This morning saw the return of one of my favorite oatmeal combos- applesauce and oatmeal. I still have about 1/3 of a jar of super healthy no-sugar-or-anything-sweet-added applesauce (bought on sale for 45cents!) in the fridge and this morning saw the 1/3 reduced a bit. I simply cooked up my oats as per usual, and while they were coming to a simmer placed a heaping tablespoon of applesauce at the bottom of my breakfast bowl, and mixed in generous amounts of cinnamon, nutmeg, and ginger. When the oats were sticky and done I poured them over the delicious additives and stirred them up. Result? Deliciously healthy oatmeal.

The existence of applesauce in my fridge is a byproduct of my great love for applesauce. My love affair with applesauce is something rather recent. For years I never ate the stuff, then one summer at my Uncle Skipper's old place in North Eastern Washington state, I had a life changing experience. My Uncle Skipper fed me homemade apple sauce. Things have never been the same since. It was a changing moment in my life. I'm still not exactly sure what he put in it, but it was out of this world. After that magical experience, applesauce was briefly forgotten and I concentrated on other things. I rediscovered applesauce a few years later as a magnificent substitute for sugar, eggs, butter, and many other unsavory and unhealthy ingredients used in baking. Applesauce became my secret weapon when making banana bread, but otherwise it was relegated to occasional use, languishing mostly forgotten in my fridge. Then this year, in search of something healthy and sweet to eat, I rediscovered applesauce. It was my savior when the wisdom teeth came out and has been a staple of my fridge ever since. And now the world knows- it makes for a mean bowl of oatmeal.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Oatmeal and Mango Chutney?


This morning, on my quest to:

A) Find new and exciting ways to eat oatmeal and

B) Use the things in my pantry/fridge and

C) Not go grocery shopping,

I ventured into yet another taste sensation with my combination of oatmeal and mango chutney. After cooking my 1/2 cup oats and 1 cup water to the proper consistency, I took about a tablespoon of mango chutney purchased some time ago from an Asian shop and put in the bottom of my bowl. Then I poured the oatmeal over, mixed it well, and added a few squirts of lime juice. I wasn't sure what to expect, but as the spoon reached my mouth, I was pleasantly surprised! It is different, naturally, but it works! And there is totally enough chutney in the jar to last me 3-4 more bowls of oatmeal. This is a happy find.

Any other oatmeal ideas out there?

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Susan, Ingrid, Blanche, and Roxanne


Those are the names of my four windowsill plants, four lovely ladies that I have nourished and watched flourish through the long winter and my year here in Berlin. In about five weeks, I'll have to leave them. Sadly, I don't think they can be taken with me back to California and I believe the nice people at Customs frown on the smuggling of plants into the country. Susan is by far the most delicate; she has blossomed three times in my life with her, she was blossoming when I purchased her and I have managed to capture both her first and second blooms. The second bloom has been slowly unfolding this week. Despite my fears that Susan wouldn't make it, she continues to bloom and surprise me.

I have grown quite attached to my plants, I've given them names and tend to introduce people to my ladies when people come to my apartment to visit. I water them regularly and pay close attention to their health. Although I have always loved gardening, this is really the first time that I have ever had my own plants to tend to, not just a never ending flowerbed to weed, one whose plants I did not choose and was not attached to. I know it'll be hard to leave them when I go. With this knowledge, I have begun looking for adoptive parents. Hopefully I can find some one to love them when I leave! It is not just my plants that I have grown attached to in Berlin, I have become attached to many other facets of my life here. But I miss the California sun. Maybe I can get some plants of my own in Berkeley, too.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Oatmeal


A 500g bag of oats costs between 30 and 35 cents at my local supermarket and is enough to last me about 10 breakfasts, 1/2 cup of oats plus 1 cup water at a time. I eat it every morning. How many ways are there for me to eat oatmeal without dying of boredom?

I used to eat it with a bit of syrup, raisins, cinnamon, and nutmeg.
OR bananas
OR peaches
OR any other fruit I had.

But now I am out of fruit. And out of raisins. And out of syrup.

It seems oatmeal's okay savory- I read a few articles online of people swearing to this fact. And I have a few eggs, some salsa, and naturally sriracha. This morning I had a scrambled egg with some salsa and sriracha in oatmeal. It was nice, different, but then, that's what I am looking for.

Any other cheap oatmeal suggestions?

There is a cherry tree outside in the inner courtyard, it has cherries on it. They are naturally on the high branches, but I think tomorrow I'll pick some. They could go with oatmeal, right?

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Rain Strike


From my title, you could think that I am planning a strike against the rain. Oh how I wish such a strike could ever be possible! I'd strike, organize sit-ins, teach-ins, and any other type of protest technique to get this rain to go away. Maybe a rain dance can work in reverse? Because yes, it continues to rain a it every day...and the rain, rain, rain won't go away! I woke up this morning to rain, yesterday was glorious but for a few scattered showers, and I believe we have weeks more ahead on the forecast. Why does summer have to be a rainy season for the majority of the world? I just want dry heat and sun beaming down on me. I'll take the extreme heat, just keep the rain at bay. Today I was hoping to go to the park and catch some rays, but at this point it seems as though that won't be on the day's menu. The rain, rain, rain, comes down, down, down, and I keep hoping it'll go away. Maybe I'll have some luck this weekend. I'm not going to hold my breath- but I'll keep the hope burning in my summer storm lantern. I also have a new theme song, The Blow's Come on Petunia, give it a try, it incorporates an awesome sample of The Police's Every Little Thing She Does is Magic.

If I am not striking in protest of the rain, no need to fear, for I'll get my fill of strike next week. Next week kicks off a week long education strike in Germany- Bildungsstreik 2009! There are teach-ins planned (although not called teach-ins, I know that is what they are), seminars on how to have a proper demonstration, and a big demo planned for next Wednesday at Berlin's Rotes Rathaus, Berlin's town hall. Now you may ask, why are we striking? The rising cost of education (absurdly low in contrast to the US), elitism in education, etc., etc... Although I do agree that these issues are problems, growing ones, and that they should be addressed- it seems like we are striking just for the hell of it. I for one, think I should bring this strike/protest ethic back with me from Berkeley. It seems California's financial woes may affect me directly when I return to the gold and blue. The Terminator is threatening to phase out CalGrants- now while I don't receive a CalGrant, the university has informed me that should CalGrants be phased out, all students receiving financial aid will be negatively affected. I'll share the burden with everyone else- to the tune of an estimated $1000 per student. Let the fun begin.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Summer


When the sun shines, filtering through the myriad green leafs of Berlin's street lining trees, Berlin in summer is glorious. Amazing, breathtaking, and worth the long winter. But, as I've been told, most of the world also involves rain in the summer. This is indeed true about Berlin. For the last three weeks, we've been blessed with glorious sunshine and far more often- intense thunderstorms and driving rain. They tend to be of the afternoon/evening variety. I was looking at some climate data for Berlin and also learned that June is Berlin's rainiest month of the year. Bummer man. It really shouldn't rain in the summer. Here's a bit from a poem I recently wrote, summing up my thoughts on summer and rain:

If I had to chose between
White noise and a muffled maybe outside rain,
Tonight it'd be the grey buzzing fizzing fuzzing cacophany
And not that entirely normal, but to me more than slightly alarming thing they call
Summer Rain.
A joke, right?
It isn't supposed to rain in the summer.

I'm not going to believe it can rain then-
Summer is scorched earth,
Drough water regulations,
Evens Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday,
Odds Monday, Wednesday, Friday.
It's wishing for hot wind to make it drop to 105,
Planning errands before 9am,
And watching sprinkler drops scatter across concrete
Like sizzling pancake heralding waterlets on Sunday mornings.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Selective Newsing


I think, when I return to California, I'm going to have to get a newspaper subscription. At least a weekend one. As the newspapers are so fond of telling me, fewer people are subscribing these days, everything is available free online, and print editions are a dying breed, causing those freedom of speech vanguards to continue shrinking their newsrooms and foreign offices. These valid reasons and my belief in newspapers as a necessity to a successful democracy, are not, however, the primary motivation in going old school, forgetting the trees, and subscribing. Rather, I have become a selective article reader, that is without the print edition in front on me- I find myself skimming, reading an article here, another there, checking certain sections more often than others and falling prey to catchy headlines. Those little news blurbs forgotten but important? Easily bypassed. Dear Abby? I haven't read her in years. Local letters to the editor? No more. My dependence on the NYTimes homepage (partly due to its status as defacto newspaper of record and maybe more to the well designed website), appealing Chronicle articles (with regular searches for Your Black Muslim Bakery updates), various German publications (those websites could learn a thing or two from the NYTimes) and Slate (oh, Slate! I love you.) is keeping me from reading the entirety of news. I'm going to have to change that.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Twenty-One in Germany


You'd think turning 21 in Germany, where the drinking age is 16 for beer and wine and 18 for everything else, would be a bit anti-climactic. But, now with two 21 celebrations under my belt here in Berlin- my own and two nights ago for Michael- I know this is only mildly true. The fact of the matter is that you can really celebrate anything anywhere and anytime you want- simply see my Thanksgiving and Cinco de Mayo celebrations in Berlin, and just wait for the 4th of July celebration to come! Due very much in part to the dominance of American pop culture the world over, I don't need to be in America to celebrate quintessentially American occasions or really even need to explain most of them very much- people know more or less what I'm talking about.

So two nights ago, although there was no 21 run, and no one was in danger of dying from alcohol poisoning- it was a successful celebration of 21.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Songs about Jennifer, Forgot One



How could I have forgotten one of my favorites? Hole's Jennifer's Body? I really do adore Courtney Love. New album soon, oh man am I excited. Even if the song isn't about a Jennifer per say, it is close enough for me, and on a great album I listen to often. And I thought there weren't any songs about Jennifer, boy was I wrong.

Songs About Jennifer


My real name is not actually Jenna. Jenna just happens to be what most people call me, how I introduce myself, and practically my full name. But, if you happen to check out any of my records or forms of ID, or you've known me for a long time, you'd know that my full name is actually Jennifer. So few people call me Jennifer, it feels strange against my skin. It used to be so bad, that when my name was called- I wouldn't respond. This was by no means intentional- I simply wasn't used to my own name. But enough about my identity issues. What I am really interested in, are songs about Jennifers- or Jennas. I didn't think there were that many- but then I started looking.

27 Jennifers by Mike Doughty
Jenny from the Block by Jennifer Lopez (how could this one ever be forgotten?)
Jennifer Juniper by Donovan
Jennifer by Styx
Jennifer by M2M- sorry, no link for this gem
Jennifer's Song by Strangelove (same, sorry)
and the incomparable and amazing Jenifa taught me by De La Soul

Do you know any more?

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Bread


Seriously, why do I buy bread? Homemade bread is soooooo much better. This weekend I made a loaf of polenta-cilantro bread and another loaf using a mixture of spelt flour and regular all-purpose with some whole wheat grains thrown in. And some delicious granola. Honestly, why do I ever buy these things? The interesting combinations came about while going through my cupboard. My roommate hardly ever cooks and yet has managed to amass a great quantity of odd ingredients. It kills me that they sit on the shelf in disuse. So, I finally put some of them to use. That bag of spelt flour is now half empty and the huge bag of once used polenta? It is most assuredly 1/3 or more lighter. The mystery grains and buckwheat? Hello granola. Working with my languishing oats, omnipresent flour, raisins, and other odd ingredients I've been a most productive (and inventive) baker this weekend. Interested in recipes? I'm never exact- but I'd try to be for you. Shoot me an email. Perhaps you even know some more interesting uses for polenta? One can always hope!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Boy: Treptower Park


C
O
N
S
T
R
U
C
T
E
D

R
E
A
L
I
T
Y

Sunset Trains


It is May and already the sun isn't fully set by 9pm. Tonight, heading back from Kreuzberg from am Indian dinner with Michael, the sun wasn't yet gone. I walked for a bit down tree strewn and leaf canopied streets around Mehringdamm as the sun slowly slipped down the horizon, dodging between buildings, through the blanket of green.

When I reached the U6 and headed to Tempelhof to catch the Ring Bahn home, the sun was dipping low enough to turn the evening pink. As I waited in the rosen dusk for my train, the exposed platform at Tempelhof took on a new life. It was the moment before streetlamps come to life- when life in the pink, or at least behind rose colored glasses, seems infinitely and believably possible. Bathed in the warm glow of a day's end- everything became, for a moment, just.

On the Ring back, the sun continued to drop below the horizon and the familiar scenery outside the SBahn tracks of Eastern Berlin looked strangely different. For a moment, passing the Fernsehnturm at Alexanderplatz did not seem the icon of Berlin that I have lived with for the last nine months. It wasn't recognizable, despite the constancy of its presence down the old Stalinallee, the magic memories of it wrapped in fog, or the recent brilliance of its glimmer in the summer sun. It was a foreign object on the night's sky- one I was experiencing for the first time.

And as I walked through my courtyard, the sun's light all but gone, it too took on a new presence, the trees dark against a blanket of blue, the bicycles beneath silent and waiting, silence wrapping around, taking over the sun's warmth.

Black Moth Super Rainbow



I have fallen in love, with a band called Black Moth Super Rainbow. An experimental band, fusing elements of psychedelic folk and electronic- how could I be anything but utterly besotted? They seem to perfectly fit my mood right now- the music could really fit any season- but the tunes on Dandelion Gum are a perfect match to this early May summer. The beats are dreamy and jarring- a kaleidoscope of senses. If you wanted to give them a go- I'd recommend beginning with the track Forever Heavy off the previous mentioned album (the video link on YouTube is interesting). The songs make me want to lay outside on the grass all day and watch flowers come to life in the summer sun. I can't help but think of time lapse flowers opening and closing when I listen. I want to float away on the raspberry dawn and touch heaven.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Shots from My Walk

A Walk Home


I love this building. I try to wind my way past it when I walk home from Mitte. Today was an exceptionally nice day weather-wise, so why not take a picture to remember it by?

I am working my way back into a swimming routine with my friend Lydia, and it is going quite well. We always try to do a kilometer- and once we reach the kilometer we work on upping the intensity. Before the winter break, we were doing quite well, but with the fitness pact separation of two months- we fell out of the habit. No fear though, we are doing quite well at getting back there. Today we did 800 meters and plan to go for 900 on Friday. I think we'll be back at a kilometer by next week. Part of the fun of going swimming twice a week, is Don Giovani's, where we go after. It is a sketchy "international cuisine" place in Tiergarten. For those unfamiliar with
Berlin, Tiergarten is not known for the culinary delights- Hauptbahnhof is nearby, and should we wish to support those struggling chain restaurants, we could go there. However, we chose rather to bring our business to Don Giovani's. With 2€ salads that are never the same, how could we chose otherwise?

And with the brief respite from the rain, I am walking, once more, all over Berlin.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Spring

And the rain rain rain came down down down...

To me, spring is usually just a more mild form of summer, no rain and slightly lower temperatures. But, this is not what spring is to the rest of the world- rather is a changeable thing, sunny one moment and rainy the next. As glorious as Berlin has been for the last two weeks- sunny and warm- we are now in a grey rainy period. I understand the logic and necessity of a spring jacket for the first time in my life! As much as I understand the rain is needed- I do wish it wouldn't.

It hadn't rained for a few weeks, and this weekend when I was riding the S-Bahn out into Pankow for a friend's BBQ, the drying landscape gave me the strongest feeling of homesickness. For the dry summer landscape and "golden" hills as you drive out in the country. For the dry heat warming your skin and baking sidewalks you jump across barefoot to get the mail. If the rain hadn't come, I could see Berlin's landscape turning into the scratchy hard pan, jittering and dusty in a hot dry summer gust. But the rain has come, and I think Berlin is going to stay green, I guess that is what most people tend to go for. And as lush and green as it is, I still can't help but find spring and summer rain a bit disconcerting.

So I carry my umbrella and sunglasses around with me at all times, and hope the sun'll come out to play. I promise to be nice.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Another Great May 1st Poster

1. Mai 2009

In the day preceding May 1st and on the day itself- Berlin became a different world, or rather parts of Berlin did. I live in Friedrichshain, in the eastern part of the city- together with the slightly southwest neighbor Kreuzberg, we make the super Bizirk of Freidrichshain-Kreuzberg. Kreuzberg was in the former West Berlin and has long been home to a large immigrant population, artists, students, and other bohemians. Kreuzberg also has a long history of demonstrations, protests, and violence on May 1st, and this May 1st was no different. Indeed, they are saying that due to the uncertain economic climate, the increase in joblessness in Germany, and the general economic crisis, this year was far more violent that in recent years. Over 250 demonstrators were arrested May 1st in Kreuzberg and over 250 police officers were injured. I had been told that the violence usually picked up around nightfall, but I was surprised to learn that it did not wait until cover of dark to begin, but rather began around 7.30pm. I was well out of Kreuzberg by then, but you could hear the sirens rushing to the area all over town. More about all that in a bit, but first a bit of background to give you a sense of Berlin leading up to the the May 1st National Holiday.

The preparations for violence and rioting began the day before. Walking around Kreuzberg the day before, one couldn't help but notice that all the banks and ATMs were boarded up- as though a hurricane were coming. I walked through Boxhagener Platz to get to Kreuzberg, where Walpurgis Nacht celebrations were to happen, hundreds of people were already gathered and police had set up a barricade. Bags were searched heading into the area and about 25-30 police wagons surrounded the square- ready for the evening hours. Indeed, before May 1st even came- Boxhagener Platz saw around 50 people arrested and another 50 police officers wounded- no numbers of wounded protesters seems ever to be given. Walking through Friedrichshain and Kreuzberg on April 30th, there seemed to be something in the air, a sense of excitement and trepidation. It felt like we were on a rollarcoaster- looking over the edge of the first climb, waiting for the plunge.

Now to the day itself, May 1st took me to Kreuzberg with a few friends, during the daylight hours, it was home to a huge street fair- Myfest (a play on the German word for May- Mai's pronunciation).The streets were full of people listening to live music acts set up around Kreuzberg, dancing, and people lounging in the sun. On every street, Turkish vendors were selling grilled items and everyone was drinking beer or mixed drinks sold for a few euros on the streets. There was a concentrated effort to prevent people's access to glass bottles- but there is no open container law in Germany- and it is harder to control access to alcohol than once would think. We wandered through Kreuzberg, drinking, eating street food, and taking in the great weather (the mid 70s). There really was a wonderful vibe of peace and joy throughout the area.

However, despite the chill vibe settling over the sun and shadow covered streets, the possibility of conflict which the later hours promised was not forgotten. Different demonstrations were going on all over the area and police wagons were parked all over, ready and waiting. According to a local newspaper- the police force on May 1st was around 5800 strong, 1700 of which were members of the Berin Police, the remainder being on loan from other areas of Germany. Indeed, as Kreuzberg enjoyed the Myfest, over in Köpenick (south-east of me), there was a demonstration against the NPD- National Partei Deutschland, an extreme right wing neo-Nazi organization- and their desire to open a new office there. Around 3000 protesters were there and managed to disrupt service to the S-Bahn station for about an hour. The Berlin Morgenpost has a nice series of photos from the demo here.

Around 5pm or so, we headed out of Kreuzberg, across the Spree, in Mitte close to Friedrichshain and to 25, a beach bar just opened for the spring and summer in Berlin. It was on the Spree, shinning in the afternoon sunlight- trees hung their branches low over a series of decks, and the chill vibe returned. As we enjoyed the afternoon-evening sun, we heard sirens in the distance and watched the sun sink lower into the horizon. As I enjoyed the sun, friends, and the type of relaxation I'd only ever felt in the summer before- Kreuzberg was erupting with violence.

The 6pm demonstration at Kottbusser Tor, Kapitalismus ist Krieg und Krise- Capitalism is war and crisis, was foreseen to be the forbringer of violence, but the numbers surprised most expectations. Around 15,000 people had been in Kreuzberg for Myfest, and at 6pm, around 7000 marched in the demonstration. Among the 7000 was a so-called black block- one of the largest seen in years. Soon enough, beer bottles and stones were flung at the waiting police officers. As the evening progressed, trash cans were set on fire, and some cars were attempted as well. The police countered with tear gas, pepper spray, rubber bullets, and other "crowd dispersal techniques." As with the Köpenick demo, the Morgenpost has another very nice photo series, here. It is almost difficult to believe that this is yearly occurrence, but based on the police presence alone- not even taking into account the tales of my friends, I know this to be true.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Walking


I am walking and walking all over Berlin. In the last four days, I've walked about 27miles. I'd forgotten how the weather inspires me these months hidden in SBahn and UBahn cars, but now I am able to experience the inspiration once more and connect the dots of Berlin S and U-Bahn stations together.

Friday is May 1st, and if you weren't already aware, it is a big deal here. Ironically, it isn't at all at home in the U.S., although it is to commemorate an American event- the Haymarket Massacre. So it isn't folk costumes teens dancing around a Maypole- but rather International Labor Day. It is a national holiday and a day of protest and demonstrations- almost everyone has the day off- why not go protest something? All over the streets of Berlin, there are posters informing of the many demonstrations, etc. This is one of my favorite ones.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

A Good Day

Today was a good day. Yesterday was a good day. I really could say this weekend was a good weekend. But right now I am in the present and willing to reflect on today. The sun woke me up and about an hour later, the alarm got me out of bed to get ready for church. Off to church I went, the sun shinning and the birds singing- the streets were quiet but for the birds and church bells ringing. Most are still abed in Berlin at 9.45 on a Sunday morning. Church was full of light and I was pleased to notice that in addition to having learned all of the responses in mass, I have also learned the tunes and words to many of the more sung songs, it was most encouraging. Next week, it seems, is also the mass for the First Communion kids- I'll be sure to head to another mass time next week! Then back home I wandered, the air warmer and the sun shinning a bit higher in the sky- church had run a bit long (a baptism)- but no matter, it was Sunday and I had not much before me.

Having finished my school reading the previous day (Oh, I love my ersatz window seat!), I hunkered down in the kitchen with A Prairie Home Companion on NPR Worldwide and set to making a batch of Snickerdoodles. Arlo Guthrie was the guest star and I enjoyed folk classics as I rolled my chilled dough in sugar and cinnamon. After the cookies were done, packaged, and dishes were done, I was able to settle down (in my window seat once more) to a bit of pleasure reading. I've discovered a German author I quite like- Katrin Dorn- and have set to reading all of her novels. I've finished Der Hunger der Kellnerin (The Hunger of the Waitress) and am currently enjoying Milonga. Milonga is apparently a fast form of tango- and it suits as the book is very much about a woman and dancing tango.

After a nice period relaxing at home, I headed to Görlitzer Park in Kreuzberg to meet Michael for an impromptu picnic of sorts. Görlitzer Park is a sort of cross section of Berlin and by extension the world. Next to young hipsters you'll find Turkish families having parties and little old ladies walking together in full hijab. There are families and young couples, old men collecting bottles for the 8-15cent deposit, and all sorts of less than savory or charming characters. While Michael and I were there- playing backgammon- we were able to observe the shooting of what looked like some sort of music video. I was able to snap this picture of the rather absurd occurrence. Were were sitting in an inverted hill- basically a large bowl. In the center of the bowl, there is an asphalt path for bicyclists, etc. The band was lip syncing to a boom box and pretending to play their instruments, all the while pushing a shopping cart full of junk and mostly their lead singer down this paved path. We were able to watch them do it about four or five times. Often, the cart wheels would catch a lip on the asphalt and the lead singer would fall out- the quite full park enjoyed the entertainment very much. After a while the sky grew overcast, Lydia stopped by, Michael left, and we went for Indian food. After some delicious food and marvelous conversation, we went our separate ways, and it being such a fine night, I elected to walk home. The walk from Kreuzberg to my Kiez in Friedrichshain is quite nice and relaxing. According to my snazzy route mapper, it is a 2.6 mile walk- and it was beautiful. I listened to the newest Q-Tip album and enjoyed the beautiful night. Here's a photo of some of Friedrichhain's skyline reflected on the Spree- a bit dark, but you get the idea. All in all, a pretty good day.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Winter Sucks, Thank God it's Spring

Seriously, winter sucks, so I am quite glad that it is over and spring is here. Today was a beautiful spring day- and when the sun comes out- as previously observed- so do the Germans. Indeed, all of Berlin has been out and about lapping up the sun. Get that Vitamin D, people!

My room gets marvelous morning sun, and I spent the morning reading in my ersatz window seat- the door tilted open to let the sweet air in, as I read Kleist. When the shadows began to overpower the sun in my room, Lydia came over and we headed off to Treptower Park. Indeed, that is why winter sucks- you cannot get an ice cream and lay on the grass in the sun when there is ice and snow everywhere.

View from my Window Seat

Dorena Koopman

The Fresno Bee occasionally gets things right, this article doesn't get it all, but comes close. Koop will be missed.

Dorena Koopman, a beloved German teacher at Bullard High School for more than three decades, died Friday after a long battle with breast cancer.

Ms. Koopman, 57, had been battling cancer for more than 11 years, according to close friends.

She taught at Bullard for 32 years and had been with Fresno Unified School District for 34 years, said district spokeswoman Susan Bedi.

Glenn Starkweather, Bullard High's principal, said she was an inspirational instructor who had a special way of connecting with her students. "She was a very passionate, well-respected teacher," he said.

She originally taught language arts at Bullard but found her niche teaching German. Starkweather said Ms. Koopman immersed her students in the language and was instrumental in helping to develop a German language program at Baird Middle School, a Bullard feeder school.

She developed a tradition at Bullard of adapting plays into German for her students to perform twice a year. Last year it was "Hansel and Gretel," Starkweather said. The plays were performed in front of packed houses of family and friends of students. But it was Ms. Koopman who beamed most on performance night because she was so proud of her students, he said.

"As an educator, she was outstanding. The kids were always first. Everything she did was to ensure success for the students," he said.

Others in the district took notice.

In March, she was nominated by her peers for Fresno Unified's "Excellence in Education" award, which recognizes outstanding service. She tied with another teacher for the honor in the high school division. Although she was sick, she attended the awards presentation, Bedi said. Yasmin Assemi, a film student at University of Southern California who graduated from Bullard in 1998, said Ms. Koopman was the kind of teacher students could turn to for anything. "She was always there for students, before class, after class. She really taught you a lot and really cared."

Friends said Ms. Koopman was a fighter who battled cancer bravely.

When she was first diagnosed, her cancer was already advanced. With treatment, including chemotherapy, it appeared she had defeated the odds. However, less than five years later, the cancer had spread to her lung. It eventually spread to her liver, then brain, said longtime friend Elaine Collet, a former teacher. She taught throughout her illness and was very open with students. "The students, and being in the classroom, was her best medicine because it kept her going," Collet said.

Ms. Koopman finally stopped teaching March 26 and said her final goodbyes to students, said close friend Jane Hammaker.

In the weeks following, students, parents, and the generations she taught at Bullard flooded Ms. Koopman's home with more than 500 letters, notes and e-mails. Hammaker said among her most treasured gifts was an 82-page photo album that current and former students put together and delivered about a week before Ms. Koopman's death. The photo album was also placed on the Internet.

She never liked the spotlight, said those who knew her. There are no funeral services planned; she will be cremated.

However, Hammaker said there will be a celebration of her life at Bullard High School on May 5 - the date her students would have been performed their next play in German. It is scheduled to take place at 7 p.m. in the school theater where students, or "Koop's Troop" will share memories on stage.

"She didn't want anything, so she probably doesn't want this," said Hammaker. "But, I think she may like it because this is going to be good for the students."

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Wisdom Teeth, Part II

Yesterday, the wisdom teeth fun continued with the extraction of the two remaining right wisdom teeth. All in all, it was better than the first time round- there was no whimpering or recoiling when he gave me the Novocaine and as I knew what to anticipate regarding the whole tooth thing, it seemed to go far quicker. Indeed, I was in and out in 20 minutes- something I still cannot quite believe. But now, lacking all my wisdom teeth, I wonder- what will become of my wisdom?

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Grief

The black gossamer threads wrap around the small of my back,
Taping out their seductive tune against the vertebrae-
One by one up to the base of my spine,
Whispering like a temping lover in the night,
Join us.

Let waves of darkness crash over you,
Submerse yourself in their inky hues and give in-
Let go-
Don’t fight anymore.

I can feel the undertow pulling at my toes,
Its persuasive pressure surrounding my skin
As the waves build and crescendo into a Siren symphony,
Doubling in intensity as the longing grows.

A longing to be pulled under,
Down where I can wrap myself in hues of despair-
Suffocating on sobs caught in my parchment throat-
Afraid for the lighted hope of day.

Ich habe die Farbe des Weizens gewonnen.



Mourning

Recently a dear friend died. And for the first time in my life, I am truly experiencing grief. Her death has left me with a most profound feeling of loss, one with which I am not sure how to deal. I cannot escape my grief, and indeed I do not want to- I need to express the sadness and loss which her death has brought me. Our society has always had strict codes, traditions, and rituals for dealing with death, grief, and loss- one word seems to encompass all of these traditions- from Suttee to sitting Shiva and saying Rosaries for the departed, we mourn.

However, grief and mourning are not synonymous. Grief is an emotion, strong and seductive- while mourning is the process by which we deal with our grief, an outward manifestation of our inner turmoil shaped by our societies and our social codes. The lessening of social codes has eroded much of the protocol for mourning. We still wear mostly black to funerals and we remember to bring food and flowers to those left- but the speed with which we are expected to resume normal life, behavior, and feeling is a reflection of the lightening speed at which our world now moves. However, as quickly as we are accustomed to moving and adjusting in our world- the ancient and universal grief does has not adapted to a 24 hour news cycle. As I grieve, I find myself turning to the older outward manifestations of grief- to mourning.

If we are not to express our grief externally, the danger of succumbing to despair is even greater. In choosing to mourn and for a period, wear black, I feel myself being pulled back from the edge of despair. Instead of manifesting my grief in a submission to despair- I am manifesting it outwardly. I feel as though I am constantly acknowledging my grief and loss, but that I am not allowing it to take over or handicap my life. It is a small choice which helps me to grieve, but to grieve without losing myself. Now every morning, I can get dressed and remember. Then I can continue about my day- never forgetting, but never allowing myself to be overtaken by my loss.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Spring in Berlin, oh what joy!

When the sun comes out, so do the Germans. In fact everyone comes out to play in Berlin the moment the temperature rises and the sun begins to shine. After what seemed like an eternal winter, I am happy to say that Spring is fully here in Berlin! The birds are chirping, the sun is rising earlier and going down later every day- I cannot imagine the magic of the summer to come! Just think how long the sun will be out! I want to spend every possible moment in the sun, basking in the warm rays dancing across my skin. In the S-Bahn cars, the top side windows have even been open to let in the cool spring air! After a window of keenly observing the instructions by the automatic doors- to close them on cold days- it is nice to experience the windows left open. There is no longer a fear of the cold. I am even altering my travel methods. I've come to prefer buses and trams. They are usually a bit slower, but they stay in the sun and let me see the sun-soaked city. Why go underground where the sun can't follow?

Today was Easter Monday, the last day of my seemingly forever semester break. I went with a few friends to Treptower Park to soak up some rays. It being Easter Monday and a national holiday and all, we weren't the only ones with such a plan- the park was full of people with the day off work and school, lounging in the sun. It was a most perfect day- the sun, friends, and relaxation. Although the break is over and tomorrow I'll head back to classes, I am happy that this semester will be in the warm light of spring and summer- not the weak one of winter. Oh spring, I like you. The sandals have come out, the legs have emerged from their stockings, and I am ready to get some color- just not too much, I am from California- we know about skin cancer there.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Easter!!

Easter is by far my favorite holiday, indeed my favorite day of the year. The magic of Easter Vigil, my favorite mass is always breathtaking. This year, my breath was taken away in German. I attended Easter Vigil at my local church, St. Mauritius. It was splendid. Mass began outside, with an Easter fire. The priest spoke about the miracle of Jesus rising from the dead and blessed the fire. Then he lit the Easter candle from the fire and we went into the dark church. The Easter candle followed and gradually the church filled with soft candle light as we lit out candles from the Easter candle and among one another. Readings from the Old Testament followed in the semi-darkness, and when around 10pm, Jesus rose, the church was flooded with light and the bells and organ began to go crazy. It was amazing! As the bells were ringing to the resurrection, and the organ was blasting the miraculous news- I couldn't help but think, it's 10pm! I wonder how the neighbors liked it. The mass continued in the usual Easter Vigil fashion and seven new members were welcomed into the church, always a very moving experience for me. I remember going to Easter Vigil when I was little and listening to the Priest's words, saying that baptism cleanses you of all your sins. I was always jealous of the people baptized as adults- what kind of sins did I have at 6 weeks? The jealousy has fortunately passed as I've grown older and I can now enjoy welcoming new people into the church guilt free.

Never to be one to miss an opportunity to attend mass, I also went this morning with a few friends. It was a very nice service- but nothing can compare to the magic of Easter Vigil. My roommate is also celebrating her birthday this Easter. I am incredibly jealous. As some of you may know, I was born on Holy Saturday and have been waiting my entire life for an Easter Birthday. It has never happened. One day working at the church last year, I was curious- would I ever have an Easter Birthday? I found a website with the Easter dates until 2050 and found that I wouldn't. I did some further research and learned that the first time I would have an Easter Birthday would be 2051! Recently I looked to see the last time Easter fell on April 2nd, it was 1972! My goal in life is to see my Easter Birthday- it is going to be one amazing party.

But back to Easter. The day was glorious and sunny and warm. The planned Easter picnic was a rousing success. I spent all day yesterday cooking. I made potato salad, challah, devilled eggs, and carrot cake. The carrot cake was delicious and moist. The picture below is very much like what today at my favorite park, Volkspark Friedrichshain, looked like.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

New Hair


It is a glorious spring day: birds are chirping, the sun is warm, and I feel very blessed. Before I run out to read and catch some sun- here's a picture of the new hair, as promised. Beyond the Myspace quality of the photo, nice, no?

Sunday, March 29, 2009

James McMurtry

I think I may be in love with this song.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

One Day Like Rain

One day like rain,
I'll come to you in my May dress,
The one my secret self stole to twirl in.
Twirl in the kitchen,
Twirl in the hallway,
Twirl in the bedroom,
Practicing a smile as the mirror rushes by.

One day like rain,
In our dry live oak summer,
The vinyl sticking to sweaty skin,
A red blush replacing a blossom's glow,
Is a whisper across my shoulder,
Dancing pianist fingers down my freckled back,
Asking me to go for a walk.

One day like rain,
We'll dodge the sun in cedar's shadows
As we amble up Arthur Avenue.

For that day, like rain,
You'll come and go
And cause a ruckus.
Stirring up oil deposits
And sending rainbows
As I run home, skirts in hand,
Hoping you'll be behind.

Wisdom Teeth

If being wise is the price for having wisdom teeth, I'd much rather be foolish, but no one asked my opinion, and I have all four wisdom teeth. Well make that two wisdom teeth now. Yesterday I had two of the four removed, the other two will come out in a few weeks. It was very much a surreal experience. I went in on Wednesday to the oral surgeon for a consultation. He took x-rays, explained the procedure, and sent me out to make an appointment. At the reception desk, she looked at her book, asked me what my schedule was like, and said, "How's tomorrow?" And the appointment was made, I was getting some wisdom teeth out in less than 24 hours. Fun.

What did I do first? I called my friend Michael to see if he could go with me- he could. Then I went and bought plenty of yogurt drinks and yogurt, as I cannot have solid foods- they are my lifeline. I called the family, took a bath, and tried to sleep.

Michael met me at my oral surgeons, it was such a blessing having him there. If I hadn't been with a friend to make me laugh, etc, it would have been miserable. The entire visit took less than a half hour. They saw me in, sat me down, shot me full of Novocaine (yes, no pleasant unconsciousness for me!), waited a few minutes, and then got down to work. It was a very surreal and terrifying experience to be awake while they took out some wisdom teeth. I think I might have preferred to be put under, but if my recovery is anything to go by- I feel alright- no where near the craziness I've heard from some of my friends to have the procedure before me.

The next saga of my ordeal involves pain medication. Normally, in the US, you are prescribed high powered meds, and lots of them. Not the case in Germany- 400mg Ibuprofen for me- no prescription necessary! There's a dull pain, but I think I'll survive. Just think of the bragging rights I'll have! I was awake when my wisdom teeth were pulled out and I did it with over the counter pain meds! I just really wish I didn't have to go through with this one more time.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Back to Berlin, Adventures with Cordelia

After returning from England, I had a few days until my next visitor came- so I did what we all do when returning from vacation, I ran errands. I also said goodbye to my dear friend and travel companion Marie. She headed back to California and I am down one friend, I need to make more friends! I miss her dearly.

Adventures with Cordelia were nothing but awesome, despite a few missteps, by no means on our part. The first was with a planned trip to Wolfsburg- the Volkswagon town, about 3 and 1/2 hours by the slow and cheap train with one transfer in the apparent hub of German train travel- Magdeburg. Cordelia is quite the soccer fan, and the plan was to go to a professional Bundesliga game- Wolfsburg against Schalke. We bought the tickets quite some time ago, and were very excited. However, as we slowly made our way to Wolfsburg, clouds of doom began to make their way toward us. On the train to Magdeburg, Cordelia caught the results to a game which looked remarkably like the one we were going to. Now, there are a million excuses one can make for this occurrence- and we made them all, continuing onto Wolsburg, a decidedly icky feeling developing in the pits of our stomachs. After passing the tiny and oddly named Bösdorf- literally evil village, we were almost to Wolsburg. We passed the stadium- it was fairly empty. But we were there over two hours before the game and Germany on Sundays is always empty. Best place to film any film of the world after the Apocalypse? Small towns and old industrial cities in Germany on Sundays. We passed some choice locations on the way to Wolfburg. We weren't up for admitting our possible failure to anyone, so Cordelia and I choose not to ask for help,but rather continued on our way to the stadium. At the stadium, we found ominous signs of the game having already occurred- an old press pass in the trash bin and trash around the entrance gates. A phone call to Marie fixed it for us- Wolfsburg is doing well this year, and the game was moved to that previous Friday night. I was incensed, I hadn't been informed of this change! And Cordelia was frustrated- but all in all, we had a nice day. We saw countryside and rode the train. Although the goal was a miss- the journey was splendid. In Wolfburg we even saw this terrifying advertisement for a stroller. One for multiple children, as you will no doubt notice- it seems they made good use of photoshop. Oh my, someone save that child!

So what did Cordelia and I do in Berlin? We went to the German History Museum three days in a row (school groups and tourists are everywhere!), for which I have purchased a year pass. That's right, until March of next year, whenever I'd like to go the German History Museum, it is free for me and a guest. We also went to a variety of Soviet era monuments. Monumental architecture is no stranger to Berlin, but these took it to whole new heights. It was an amazing week in Berlin, the sun shone almost everyday, and one day I even wore sandals- it may have been a bit premature, but my toes were happy. And fittingly, when Cordelia left, it rained. It rained, hailed, and even snowed a bit all day yesterday. Berlin would seem to be sad that Cordelia has left. Today has been glorious, sunny, and a bit warmer. I would have been out and about to enjoy it- except for the fact that I had two wisdom teeth pulled this morning, but I'd expect more about that later.